A Southie’s Life Rocks (or is it on the rocks)

southismaajatime

I recently read an article about the lavish, partying and rocking life of mallus and tam brams (Of course I am being sarcastic).

The mail was hilarious. It spoke of the heritage names and remorseful work timings and really sad social life’s that “we” southies, live as routine.

I would like to disagree to it. Probably all the mail needed was a good laugh but when I received the same mail with a comment saying, “It’s so true”. I kept contemplating & pondering over the comment. (Ya, I know I could have just quoted there “I kept thinking instead of pondering” but I had this sudden urge to use big words as most readers of this post at this time would be southies sitting in offices as the Gujus, Panjus and other baniyas would be busy planning the evening for the day & also I needed to show off. Oh come on, Vocabulary is all I got). Anyways, read on…..

I think life’s a lot different than a mere southie’s routine mockery. Its, well…..  hmmmmm… how do I put this, …….it’s complicated.

Yes, even for those tam brams & mallus who have at least till date not ended up with love marriages (southies love marriages, wonderful usually. They are mostly with the same caste, community, the “gotram” needs to be different, carefully chosen, selected, discussed, horoscopes matched & agreeable to both parties, parents, relatives, neighbors whose opinions are equally important as a background check would also have happened of the couples, ahem)

Why even bother calling it a love marriage mate? I think this whole process has taken more time than actual courting. So where’s the romance. Naaah!

Can’t blame the poor chap though. How often does he anyway get to claim having gotten to get someone fall in love with him or at least remotely agree to him. After all, he must also have taken pains and been patient & careful enough to get across his job profile, designation, job security, mutual funds investment, idea of his probable salary, his investment plan, housing loan amount etc & such other details to the fairer sex and then woo her. Wow! How did I forget, qualifications here. Ya. That too. Phew! So that’s about a year till that time. & yes, he is a double MBA / Masters… Again, why?

Also, the south indian girl realizes that this dude, can I call this male human neatly oiled hair category, a dude, please, please… please let me Thanks …. Well so as ammai, appa & other family members would also agree and she is also sure to be with someone who can and has a stable job (remember, Home loans, mutual funds & PF – I am sure she also must have noted down the possible savings he must be making annually after tax deductions). & wow, how did I also forget, the guy has to be 5’8” at least. Why? Just make the criteria 6feet then. What is it, an oomph factor!

I just don’t get it, may be partly because I am not 5’8” but still. Why?

Why the criteria, at least “ “.

Is it like, if the calculatedly fallen in love couple get troubled by a dude, is this tall or taller guy gonna tap the tip of the other guys head before he succumbs down or faints (people who eat only curd rice, dosa & rasam chadham(rice) get bruised more easily, you see)

Anyway, it does not make any sense.

So the planned, arranged but loving couple say, the hell with love at first sight. We have taken into consideration all the factors that may or may not suit both of us. Now we will make this work, the girl says it with confidence. Yes, they are going to revolt and rebel, against … hmmm…. Against cruelty to animals. Lets not get offtrack, what else will they revolt to, how can they upset ammai & appa and family & friends and did I mention neighbours.

Little does she know that the tam bram / mallu dude might have even comp up with a probable percentage of risk involved in this relationship (he might just tell the statistics if pressurized, but I am sure he would have also made a pie chart of this analysis probably in SPSS software).

Anyways, with the money that both make, they can afford many such revolting romantic SRK movies on DVD at their 2/3 BHK homes that is of course only after both of them have finished reading their book / novel for the day (reading is very important for our cult, that shows we are educated and belong to a different class & category of people). Educated & class, I dun’t know, but different category…. Oh, I am so sure about that.

Ya, we southies need to have stacks of books at home from Crosswords & Strand book stall, nothing pirated. It has to be purchased for the original price. Hell, we even have hardback cover books. We don’t read it all, but those books are usually kept closest to the ‘Big glass’ door of the library at home for the world to see. What world, which girl is going to come to a southie dudes home first of all and even if she does, and the sweet dude shows off his massively huge and BIG, collection of books, trust me my friend, she is never coming back. So make sure & mark my words carefully, do not lend your books to her, she is never, ever coming back. Lets continue.

We have overgrown TV sets, but we make sure we put on our social networking sites status, “Don’t watch TV”, What? Why? Is it like a crime? I love watching TV & I grew up fine. Ahem! Let’s not get into the details here. Lets read on…

So now do you realize why these mails tickle our funny bones. ‘coz only the Truth shall finally set you FREE!

Also, did I forget to mention, unless we learn to accept ourselves how can we…. How can we…. How can we face god in the morning during sandhyavandanam…. J   Have fun

Yes, yes. My name runs over 50 letters…….. so I am not writing it. Vaise bhi, mera naam to suna hoga!

Do tell me your views…..

Open Office

Few Blog Posts from the past: Back on Our Dear Readers Demand:

Year:2008

cubicle

Tomorrow onwards I start working in an open office. During renovation, the old traditional layout is being changed from a cabin (large rooms equal to or bigger than a living room) to medium sized cubicles and work stations. It looks impressive since the office is renovated. But it is only partially complete and the full looks with atrium and all other things would get ready in the next few months. So the full impact would be felt when the office is fully renovated. It would be a transformation worthy of notice-perhaps equivalent to an expensive cosmetic corporate surgery.

The first feature that I observe is that the Personal Computer occupies the pride of position, It is kept smack in the middle of the working area and the chair faces it. It seems as though the main function of most employees is staring hard at the computer almost the entire day. It is perhaps equivalent to keeping a note counting machine on every banker’s table as every banker ultimately deals with money. My belief is that computer is one of the tools we use in the course of our work. It could be a vital tool or an accessory (like a belt or a tie) depending on the individual and his position in the hierarchy. But that seems to be the accepted concept today. I am reminded of the cattle shed in some parts of Mumbai (Tabela in local language) where the cattle is tied and faces a trough containing the feed. Unlike human beings they are not let out as there is no space for grazing in Mumbai.

The second striking aspect is the positioning. The consultant informed us that the concept is that there should not be eye contact from one work station to another. This reinforces the concept that though other human beings are close by, they are mainly distraction to be avoided. So though they are visible and audible, ignore them and ensure that they are able to ignore you. So no loud conversation to spouse on buying evening’s requirement (she would come late, so pick up children, and keep dhal ready etc.), mouthing childish and sweet words or threatening words to growing and troublesome kids (do Maths home work beta, is the Hindi homework over, didn’t I tell you to…), romance within or outside office.

The third striking aspect is the mobile phone with varying ring tones. I recall a senior executive well past retirement age having the ring tone of Dhoom going off when he was making a serious point at an important meeting. They can be quite annoying. When someone else has a ringtone identical to yours, then you could get irritated thinking how could he have the same ring tone. So what would result after few days of annoyance is more subdued ring tone and many executives walking up and down the corridor murmuring into the telephone looking serious and sometimes focused clearly on domestic issues ( mama, I told you it is not possible this week….., did the plumber come? has the maid come and cleaned baba’s school dress?)

The fourth would be learning new techniques on seeming busy on important assignments while doing nothing. But that perhaps would not be difficult to any Indian working person.

Now, I wonder who invented work station. The word “work station” seems to give an impression of a temporary halting place – like railway station- and not a place where we spent a large portion of our waking time. It sounds like a station for working and nothing more. Perhaps it is an American usage where most things are impersonal – even family relationships. Every child is expected to have a separate room. A parent cannot go into his grown up children’s room without permission. So places without privacy are perhaps temporary habitats by their standards.

So off tomorrow to the new working station. Let me see how all of us working there fare. My hunch is that some of my colleagues could complain and look back to the glorious past and identify the fault lines loudly.

Open Office – Part2

It is nearly a year since I wrote the last blog. During that time, I visited Bhutan. It is an out of the way place for Indian tourists. I enjoyed it. My wife told me recently that she now appreciated the stillness of some of the places we visited in Bhutan. If anyone is interested to know more, do write to me. I have kept a diary of this visit and good photos also. If you enjoy chill climate in summer, seeing deep valleys, winding roads, waterfalls etc. then this is the place. It is not that expensive also.

Bhutan waterfall

My grandson put in 11 more eventful months to his 9 months of existence. The growth in the first three years of existence is said to be more that what happens in thirty years of existence in the later part of human life. So he started walking, communicating, speaking few words and being utterly mischievous. He has a lovely smile, which I am sure will break the hearts of many maidens who are yet to be born. He gave us a new perspective to life and living.

The open office grew on me. I became comfortable listening to the daily menu communicated by my office neighbor to the cook. I came to know the calling tunes of most colleagues. The older the person, the more dashing is the caller tune. Older persons do not change caller tune. The younger generation love change and that includes caller tunes also.

Most telephone conversations are conducted in loud tones. Except when confidential calls come, then everyone is capable of whispering on phone. The difficulty arises in concentrating on reading lengthy documents when the atmosphere around resembles a railway station. Then I remember Hindu philosophy which expects us to concentrate irrespective what the outside world resembles.

Share market crashed in an unbelievable manner. Many of us saw lot of paper wealth being extinguished on a daily basis. There is a muted recovery now. None of us are confident this would sustain or reach the old heights. Still some rise in Sensex is comforting.

What are most disturbing are job losses. For the first time in my 33 years of working life, I am seeing middle and junior level officers and executives losing jobs due to economic down turn. Management graduates are not getting placements even when they belong to good or great Institutions. This has never happened in the past. The situation in non metros is said to be equally bad. Small and medium enterprises are having great difficulties in surviving. I am not sure what is the level of job losses or erosion, but it is bound to be significant.

I had a lingering suspicion about IT related jobs as I could not fathom how far an average IT engineer would travel in his career. As a person coming from administrative side of business, I felt they would plateau out fast. Today’s scenario seems to confirm my belief that an IT person needs to contribute significantly to business to progress beyond the Rs. 25/30 lacs hurdle. Am I right? I would love some feedback on this rather instinctive rather than informed view.

USA has lost its charm for many Indians. The risk of being unemployed in a foreign country is frightening. India at least offers some kind of security within the bosom of the family or its extended version. Any way we are used to misery, somehow we will pull on. Would a father consider giving a qualified girl based in India to an IT bridegroom based in USA today without some qualms? Hard to say.

Why did I absent myself from blogs? Well, the creative urge dried up. I could not dream of something to write. I started and then left it midway. Today I decided I will scrawl something. I will be encouraged if I get 3 comments or criticisms or feedback. Does a person write for own satisfaction or for someone else to read, appreciate/criticise? I think both.

So, what do you say?

Let me know your views on the same

Anjeneyan

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Cubicle

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