As I took the steps ahead on the swarming streets of Mumbai today, I felt like I was on top of a gigantic winged messenger of the gloomy skies that seemed to fly beneath me.
I could feel the burden of my thoughts being splashed across the busy streets, scattered and roaming without a moment of rest.
I felt my insides roar with a gore of pain whilst I kept trying to further increase my pace.
Was I dreaming…. As the question zoomed across my confused and battered mind today, I felt the speedy vehicles whiz past me with least care and concern. I stepped back few paces and the pain seemed to be agonizing even more.
What was happening?
I was feeling twitchy and was experiencing a moment of stagnation in my thoughts. Was the concerned concern with respect to my routine or my life, my dreams or my goals, my ideas or my passion? I could not separate the gold from the dross.
I kept walking few steps ahead as I called in for a cab for my ride back home. I did not want to ponder… I did not want to question anymore? I just did not want to ask myself today… What is it that’s turning my insides out? I guess, by then my Nokia 3500 reminded me of the fabulous songs that it had in it’s memory. I took the music pills and gulped it through my ears one after the other and tried to make my pain go away.
I soon faded into the sound and beats and slowly into the gaping hole of the future. It looked just like a white light to me now. As I felt the agony slowly finding it’s way back, I pumped up the volume and let the music take control. I did not know what it is and today, I just didn’t want to know.
I had learnt to let go finally… Finally…… I had learnt what they mean to de–stress ….
Even though I knew that it was temporary… I felt at peace that it was over for the day…..
No more blasts, no more sounds… just serene emptiness of space….. hope and peace restored….
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Ananthanarayanan V
